Personals Advertisement

dating is just like a job search, it is not a numbers game (this is not vegas) the more applications you send out will not determine the call backs you get.  don’t waste your time or mine if you are not qualified for the position.

Job Description:
Seeking intellectual, confident, self-aware, responsible, socially apt, well groomed, heterosexual male for procreation practice (yes, practice and practice alone)

Required Qualifications: Career oriented (not just employed); Financially responsible; Spontaneous; 6 feet tall (or taller); Proportional weight; Emotionally stable without the use of medication; Healthy (i.e. no STD’s); Interest in international travel (beyond the all inclusive resorts); Passion for life and living

Preferred Qualifications: Interest in theater, music and art; Able to discuss local, national and global politics; Understand religion as a real and abstract concept; Ability to dance (or willingness and aptitude to learn)

Application Instructions:

A) STD (Standard Time-wasting Date): Proof that you have enough money to pay for dinner at a popular national chain restaurant that uses real silverware where we talk about superficial things.

B) LTR (Lifetime To Recover): Now, if you are to discus religion, politics, or the affects of religion on politics and politics on religion, I apologize, but those are conversations I refuse to have with strangers. I reserve my real opinions and perspective for people who I would possibly be interested in getting to know. That being said, are you sure you want to venture past our witty repartee into the realm of strangers becoming acquaintances or possibly even friends? If so, I need a blood, urine, hair and stool sample along with a complete family history (maternal and paternal), a dna sample to prove they were your biological parents, a psychological evaluation, your college transcripts, 3 letters of recommendation, 2 professional references, a credit report, and proof that you saved money by switching to geico after getting a rate quote from progressive.

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